Insomnia

If I could choose just one part of my health to be returned to me, I think I would choose the gift of sleep.

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There is something about lying awake in the middle of the night, knowing everyone else is sleeping soundly that makes a person feel rather lonely.

Getting to sleep and staying asleep is a problem. Currently, I wake up every four or five hours when my pain meds run out or i just wake up randomly for no reason. Like now, I can’t take meds for another hour but here I am… awake after only two hours.

I try to time it so the meds will run out and I will wake about 2:30 AM, then I can still take drugs without having too much of a hangover in the morning. The problem is it can take an hour or more for the meds to kick in again. Sometimes I go back to sleep only to awaken at 4:30  or 5:00 AM and then, no more real sleep for me. I’ve tried about every sleep remedy, medical & natural. Most times something new will help for about 2 months and then it will stop working.

A good night’s rest makes such a difference in a person’s day. It’s incredibly frustrating to me to lie awake for hours when I know I have to teach in the morning.

It’s a little like this:

Let’s say you were able to sleep a few hours but had to wake up for more meds. You know you HAVE to sleep. You eye the clock and think, “Well if I could go to sleep RIGHT NOW, I could get four more good hours. So you squeeze your eyes shut and carefully close down all the open windows/tabs in your mind.

Thirty minutes later you look at the clock, “Ok, well I’ll be fine if I get three and a half hours.”

You doze off. When you awaken you’re disappointed to see that only an hour has passed.  You try to lie still and not move a muscle. You try counting sheep… (whoever came up with that anyway?)insomnia cartoon chruch.com

An hour later you begin feeling desperate. “Even if I fall asleep right now I’ll only get an hour and a half! Ok, I hope the kids are in good moods today!”

You doze slightly for another thirty minutes and groan when you see the clock. It’s hardly worth trying to sleep anymore but even fifteen minutes would add to your scanty collection of unconscious moments. So you lie there with your eyes closed, not even daring to glance at your alarm clock because you don’t want to see the minutes ticking by.

And then that annoying ringing breaks the silence and a new day has begun. And you think, “Ok God, HOW am I gonna manage today?”

But you grit your teeth, put your mind to it and by the grace of God, you have a good day…

…and then the cycle repeats.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

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9 thoughts on “Insomnia

  1. I don’t really know you, but have followed your blog for a while.

    As a fellow teacher I can totally relate to those nights of “I have to sleep. If only I could sleep right now. God please let the kids be in exceptional moods.” Although mine are very few and far between, it is frustrating!

    Prayers will definitely be offered!

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  2. I don’t know you but I’ve been following your blog and its been very encouraging to read!I do know a little bit what its like not always being able to sleep the best!Thankfully its been better again!I will pray that God blesses you with some good nights of sleep!

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  3. Hey Andrea, so sorry to hear about your Pain an sleepless nights =( I know what its like to have times when i was awake for a long time =( I d go to sleep then around 3:30 0r 4 id be awake for a VERY long time, anyway las yr i was at the dr office quite a bit an my nurse pract put me on Amitriptyline its a anti depressant an that has helped me like everything, i take these pills a little b4 i go to sleep an most nights i sleep the whole night long =) can take one or 2 but anymore i take 2, so maybe you want to ask your dr about taking these to?? but could be since your on a lot of other stuff that it wouldnt work for ya, i know what ya mean about taking just a LOT of stuff just to see if it would work =( Not Fun…Hope you can find something that will help ya…Praying for ya….Carolyn~

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  4. I love it!! you put my nights totally into words awesomely:) I too have advance lyme am a mom of 6 children from 9-26 and 2 foster children 1 and 3 at the time.The desprete feeling for the need to sleep-but having maxed out the pain meds for the night ,and then praying “GOD!!you know that I will have to run on YOUR strength again today because i am hurting and sleep depraved–” Its comforting to know I am not alone 🙂 Blessings on you!!

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    1. And blessings to you! Wow! You’ve got a lot of responsibility! I have the children for 6 hours and you’ve got them full time. Bless your heart! I pray you will sleep well tonight. =) -andrea
      P.S. I got almost seven straight hours last night! =)

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